actually, I'm a sock model
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
