wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
