do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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