I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
