his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
