How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
