goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
