We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
