mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
