walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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