she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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