He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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