Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish you could order shots online.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
