Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
