is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
