I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
