But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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