Kiss
Puke
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
