A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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