Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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