im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
