No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
