He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
