Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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