I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
