I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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