FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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