So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
this will be a night to untag.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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