We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
