it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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