She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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