if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
