you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
