we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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