when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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