wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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