Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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