Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
