Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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