brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
