Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
