Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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