Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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