I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think your dad took our porno
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
