Do you still have your period?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
