You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
