it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
