Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
