I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
