I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
