I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
