I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
