im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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