no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
